Call me old fashioned… but to me a “real man” is the kind that opens doors for ladies, dresses well from head to toe, whistles as he walks down the street and has a few “robotic parts” that can really make him run super fast or punch thru doors or thin walls. That’s just the way my mother taught me.
I bought a pet bird on Thursday. I named it “Meatball”. By Friday Meatball had disappeared out of his cage. And if things weren’t already bad enough my pet “Bird Eating Tarantula” had some kind of weird swelling disorder.
Tom tried for the “look” that everyone is talking about. Tight pants, form fitting suit coats, pointy shoes and scarves. He pranced on 8th Street like a fancy schoolboy. The children and hookers laughed and laughed. Yes, it is a fine line between “Jonas” and “Will Ferrell”…
My main argument against becoming a nudist is that I feel I would need a much larger size chapstick paired with the fact that I have no pockets.
The following are bedtime stories my son didn’t want to hear:
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Sleep tight little one. And pray your feet don’t turn into hooves tonight!
Philip was always one to go with his “gut feeling” until the day he ate that leftover sausage and crout “salad” in the back of the fridge.
Some topics should be off limits for dinner parties. Like politics, religion and calling someone a “filthy, calvinist, republican pig”. Oh yea, and I don’t think the word “filthy” should be used at dinner parties either.
My trip was life changing. Big eyes gazed up at me. Hungry. Wanting. Needy. It was all around me. Desperation. Flys. A putred stentch filled the air.
I went and saw it with my own two eyes. And I highly recommend that you too make a visit your local mall during this tough economic climate.
Fine Print Car Lease
I told the “Chrysler Guy” to look me straight in the eye and tell me that I DON’T get to keep the car when my lease is done. He did. And smugly I might add. One more case of someone duped over not reading the “fine print”.
My friend Jimmy bought some socks today on the popular site craigslist. He paid less than 4 dollars for 6 pairs. That’s 12 socks! The total per sock price is about 34 cents! Jimmy only had to drive to Orlando (from Sarasota). The guy selling the socks wasn’t home the first time, but later that week Jimmy went back and sure enough the socks where in great shape. Jimmy was so proud of his “great buy” he drove over to my place in Tampa just to show me. I’ll never forget how happy Jimmy looked driving up to my house and waiving those socks out the window of his Hummer!
